Someone else has called you a hopeless romantic. Or you’ve heard the term applied to other people, but now you think it might apply to you.
You’re emotional, and you think a lot about love. You want to meet the perfect partner, and when you do, you want everything to be flawless.
You’re a bit of a dreamer and believe the world is a beautiful place.
But sometimes relationships don’t work out, and the world disappoints.
“How do I know if I am a hopeless romantic?” you ask.
Can I stop you here?
Being a hopeless romantic is neither good nor bad, but you need to be aware of the advantages and disadvantages--and know whether you are one or not.
Without this knowledge, you may make mistakes in your life and relationships. Even worse, you may never get a chance to learn from your mistakes.
You’ll continue to enter new jobs and partnerships with a naive and optimistic view and end up emotional and distraught when things go wrong.
I want to help you to avoid that fate.
Let’s start with the ten ways you can know if you’re a hopeless romantic:
10 Ways To Tell If You’re a Hopeless Romantic
Knowing whether you are a Hopeless Romantic is not an exact science. Even so, many people find it useful to understand if they show some common characteristics..
Here are ten ways in which you can know if you fit the standard definition:
1. You Shoot for the Moon
You have high standards in a relationship, and this is both a blessing and a curse.
High standards mean you won’t settle for second best. If you ever end up in a loveless or abusive relationship, you’ll be dissatisfied and looking for an escape. In fact, you’re unlikely to find yourself in this situation in the first place.
But sometimes your standards are impossible to meet.
Your partner is always disappointing you because they don’t give you gifts, or don’t understand the importance of romantic weekends away. Or it’s impossible to meet someone as no one fits the bill.
The danger is that your standards are unrealistic, and no one can meet them. We’re all flawed, and no one is perfect. Make sure you’re not missing out on a good relationship with an imperfect person because of some high ideal.
Accept that we are all imperfect and we all make mistakes and that, at times, you’re as challenging to live with as your partner is for you.
2. You Imagine Everyone Is Perfect
Being optimistic is one of the keys to being happy.
The more you believe in something, the more likely you are to work toward making it happen. This holds in all areas of our lives – including relationships. Studies show that romantic thinkers have higher expectations, but also believe their partners can meet them.
Yet the reasons for this are not clear.
Did hopeless romantics choose a partner who meets their expectations or are they wearing rose-colored glasses? Optimism requires balance. Too much confidence and you will overlook your partner’s imperfections. You will blame them when your relationship turns out to be less than perfect.
Instead of working through inevitable difficulties, you’ll jump ship. You’ll give up on a relationship instead of finding ways to address the areas you don’t like.
Try to take a more balanced view of others. It may save you from sudden disappointment.
Remember, the more realistic your optimism, the better.
3. You Tell Others to Go to Hell
Hopeless romantics are stubborn about their views.
While others may call you naive or unrealistic and say you have your “head in the clouds,” you don’t care. You like your life and the things in it that make you happy. You’re not willing to settle for second best.
And this is a good thing.
While others may end up in unhappy relations because they weren’t clear on what they wanted from the start, you’ve taken the time to think about it. You’re content to hold out for the right person and live on your terms rather than care what others think. Take care that you don’t push too many people away for being imperfect.
4. You Believe Love Can Be Perfect
You spend your day thinking about true love.
Although you might not be in a relationship at the moment, you often think about what life will be like if you meet the right person. You believe it's only a matter of time before you find the right person. And you possibly believe in a soul mate too.
Here’s the danger though.
Being loving, optimistic, and kind and believing in true love are all great things. But if you think there is only one perfect person who will understand you and whom everything will be complete, then you might be in for a surprise.
As soon as your relationship hits a bump, you’ll be questioning if you’ve found your soulmate after all. Wasn’t everything supposed to be plain sailing?
Accept that love is not perfect and that there is no one person where everything feels one hundred percent right. That’s the key to lasting and sustainable love.
5. You Think Small Things Count
The little things in life matter to you.
You don’t need big fancy things to make you happy, and others enjoy spending time with you. Small gestures like a rose, walk in the park or seeing the sun on a cloudy day all fill your life with joy. You have high expectations, but it doesn’t take much to make you happy.
Because of this, you often feel content.
While other people chase stressful and demanding careers or aspire to more and more wealth, you prefer balance and simple things. You don’t always get the fame and recognition that others get, but it doesn’t matter too you much. A rainbow is often enough.
Gratitude is a great trait to have and one of the keys to lasting contentment. Celebrate this part of being a hopeless romantic. You’re in for a happy life.
6. You’re a Starving Artist
There is always a little of the artist within you.
You like to be creative and like art, poems and painting. Perhaps you spend your time writing or creating songs. Maybe you have a collection of favourite pictures or always remember poetry from a class on World War II.
Your creativity could have a downside, though.
It might mean that you struggle with dull and mundane tasks and find routines a little awkward. The rigours of an office life don’t always appeal. Finding a balance between earning money and being a free spirit can be a bit of a struggle. But when the balance is right, you are at your best and a great person to be around.
Give voice to your creative side. It will do wonders for your love life and general life satisfaction.
7. You Love Christmas
Giving and receiving gifts is a pleasure.
You like nothing better than to show your expression of love to someone with a big or little surprise, and you expect the same back in turn. Gifts don’t have to be big, or even cost anything at all. A flower plucked from the garden or a surprise day out are all it takes.
But not everyone meets or expects the same standards.
Others have different styles of love. Some prefer quality time, words of praise, acts of service, and intimacy. All these are important to you too. Make sure you know what your partner prefers, educate them about your preference for gifts also.
Matching giving styles to preferences makes for much smoother relationships. Since relationships are always ‘give and take’ the more your methods complement each other, the more balanced your love life will be.
8. You’re a Cry-Baby
You often cry at movies and deep songs touch you.
You are in touch with your emotions and love soaring speeches, beautiful songs and human drama. You are fond of animals too. Any form of suffering gets you upset, and your idealism stretches to a secret belief that the world should be a place of peace.
And that’s not all.
You support others in their relationship; feel their pain when things go wrong. You feel envy and jealousy from time to time, but you don’t let this get you down. Tears are always ready to well up, and you’re not ashamed. Being in touch with your emotions is what makes you who you are.
Being this way is one of the great traits of a hopeless romantic; it means you are in touch with your humanity. You care about the world and others.
Try not to be too sensitive, though. It’s a cruel world, and we all need to survive.
9. You Are a Shoulder to Cry On
You often feel in touch with people and people like talking to you about their problems.
As a hopeless romantic, there’s a part of you that is sensitive and fragile. Being this way makes you a good listener and someone who can support others. Friends often turn to you for support; sometimes you’re compared favourably to those who seem insensitive.
Your intuition is a good thing.
It’s what draws people to you. It makes you a great person to be around and a great partner and friend. The only downside is sometimes you may feel burdened by others’ problems. Sometimes you feel the pressure of their pain, especially when it’s hard to do something about it. Stay aware of this and don’t allow yourself to feel dragged down.
10. Your Life Is Good
You’re generally thankful for what you have in life.
Being grateful for what you have is an essential component of being happy. And this is why you feel joyful most of the time. Although you are sometimes prone to mood swings or feel down when you suffer disappointment, it often doesn’t last long.
There is one exception, though.
If a relationship goes wrong, you may spiral into despair. Managing downtimes like this are a challenge, but you always have your gratitude on your side. Eventually, you spring back as happy, optimistic and loving as before.
Advantages of Being a Hopeless Romantic
There are many advantages to being a hopeless romantic; here are some of them. Hopeless romantics are often:
- Full of love and kindness
- Caring toward people
- Less worried about what others think
- Emotional and intuitive
- Good friends and partners
- Confident they can make the world a better place.
Although there are many advantages to being a hopeless romantic, there are some dangers to watch out for:
Disadvantages of Being a Hopeless Romantic
These are the disadvantages of being a hopeless romantic. Be wary of:
- High standards that leave you prone to disappointment.
- If you believe in a soul mate where everything should be easy, you might not put in the effort required to make a relationship work.
- If you only focus on the beginning of a relationship which is full of romance, you won’t cope well when it changes to a more mature, less romantic, but stable type of relationship.
- You may feel restless and have a constant desire to make the world a better place, and you may struggle with the modern world’s obsession with money, career, and material success. Unless you can tame you’re restless or find suitable outlets for it, it could affect your relationships.
You’re Not Hopeless
Someone called you a hopeless romantic, or you suspect you are one.
And you’re not sure if this is a good or bad thing.
You know it can mean good things, but sometimes it can be an insult.
Go through this post and find any points that are relevant to you. Are you aware of the good and the bad? What fits and what doesn’t, and what you need to improve?
Being a hopeless romantic doesn’t mean being hopeless in love. Having high expectations, high standards, and the belief that you will achieve them is a beautiful thing.
And so is being grateful, idealistic and enjoying the small things in life.
Watch out for the dangers--after all, you’re more aware of them now--and don’t worry about what others think.
Being a hopeless romantic is a great thing; you’ve got a lot to give. Be proud and confident and spread your optimism and love with the world.
- Goalcast: https://www.goalcast.com/2018/04/25/hopeless-romantic-a-good-thing/
- Urban Dictionary: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Hopeless%20Romantic
- The New York Times: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/11/20/smarter-living/the-edit-romantic-millennial.html