Anger can take a lot of different forms, but it is a common emotion that most people have.
Irritability is similar but different to anger. It's also a common emotion. The very term 'irritability' implies that there is no justification for the reaction. It suggests that a person is snappy and bad-tempered when there is no call to be so.
People are almost always criticised for being irritable and angry. You may be your harshest critic in this respect.
What makes us angry?
It is essential to know the sorts of things that make you angry.
There are three categories of events that make people angry:
There are plenty of irritants:
- people leaving doors open,
- neighbours making noise,
- even the way people eat or cough.
Likewise, there are plenty of things people do that have a cost for us:
- our children break-things and the consequent financial cost;
- our partners contradicting us and costing us a loss of face;
- having to do things unexpectedly, which costs us time.
The important thing is, you, like everyone, else will have a set of rules that you expect other people to abide by. When someone breaks one of those rules, it is known as a transgression. When you spot a transgression or think you have, the chances are you'll be angry.
Some things which make us angry straddle the boundaries between these categories. For example, a child breaking something may make us mad because of the cost involved in replacing it, but also because they have not, in our view, taken enough care.
It’s possible to learn about your anger and how you cause it to come about. It is well worth doing this because you can then analyse your actions and those of others.
Armed with this awareness, you can then intervene to lessen the anger you experience. Moreover, we can also alter the responses we produce. It is those responses that people refer to as our ‘irritability’ or ‘anger’.
Digging deep into your anger means beginning to understand your:
- triggers (what triggers your anger)
- the anger itself (which can gradually build-up, like increasing amounts of water pouring into a bucket);
- inhabitations (which stop us from giving vent to our anger)
- responses (which can range from nothing at all, when we are entirely in control of our anger, through to catastrophic responses when we fail to control it)
Hi, I'm Matt. I'm a counsellor in Peterborough who specialises in Anger Management. I've been working with clients with anger for several years now and found that most people can learn to rid themselves of their anger with a short period of counselling.
Anger Management Resources
Getting some assistance will help you feel calmer, more relaxed and joyful. Let’s discover how I can help.
Reach out to schedule your first appointment. During your first session, you can share a bit about what’s troubling you and I can answer any questions you might have. We’ll discuss your goals and my approach and assess whether we are the right fit for each other. To schedule your first appointment, call 01733 639 040 email firstname.lastname@example.org. I’m here for you.
I will work with you to identify the triggers for your anger, the sources of your irritation, and what thought patterns maintain your rage.
Anger Management Counselling can take anywhere from 3 sessions to 20. Some people are happy to get a basic understanding of their anger and what to do. Others like to stay in counselling for a while until they have reached a place where their anger is entirely under control.
I don't, but many people advised to go on an Anger Management course come to me instead. You can get the same theory and understanding of your anger with a personalised approach for less money.
I have been working with anger for several years now. I have helped many clients overcome their anger, and I am confident I can help you.