Mental Wellness Counselling
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Anger Management Counselling Peterborough

    Aggressive water on rocks

    Anger can take a lot of different forms, but it is a common emotion that most people have.

    Irritability is similar but different to anger. It is also a common emotion. The very term ‘irritability', implies that there is no justification for the reaction. It suggests that a person is being snappy and bad-tempered when there is no call to be so.

    As such, it fails the ‘Justified?’ test; people are almost always criticised for being irritable. Again, we may be our harshest critics in this respect.

    What makes us angry?

    It is important to know the sorts of things, which make you angry.

    There are three categories of event that make people angry:

    • irritants,
    • costs,
    • transgressions.



    There are plenty of irritants:

    • people leaving doors open,
    • neighbours making a noise,
    • even they way people eat or cough.


    Likewise, there are plenty of things people do that have a cost for us:

    • our children break-things and the consequent financial cost;
    • our partners contradicting us and costing us loss of face;
    • having to do things unexpectedly, which costs us time.


    The important thing is, you, like everyone, else will have a set of rules that you expect other people to abide by. When someone breaks one of those rules, it is known as a transgression. When you spot a transgression, or think you have, the chances are you will be angry.

    Some things which make us angry straddle the boundaries between these categories. For example, a child breaking something may make us angry because of the cost involved in replacing it, but also because they have not, in our view taken enough care.

    Digging deep and understanding your anger

    It’s possible to learn about your anger and how your actions to it come about. It is well worth doing this because you can then analyse your own actions, and those of others.

    Armed with this awareness you can then intervene to lessen the anger you experience. Moreover, we can also alter the responses we produce. It is those responses that people refer to as our ‘irritability’ or ‘anger’.

    Digging deep into your anger means beginning to understand your:

    • triggers (what triggers your anger)
    • the anger itself (which can gradually build up, like increasing amounts of water pouring into a bucket);
    • inhabitations (which stop us giving vent to our anger)
    • responses (which can range from nothing at all, when we are completely in control of our anger, through to catastrophic responses when we fail to control it.)

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    Reach Out

    Getting some assistance will help you feel calmer, more relaxed and joyful. Let’s discover how I can help.

    Reach out to schedule your first appointment. During your first session, you can share a bit about what’s troubling you and I can answer any questions you might have. We’ll discuss your goals and my approach and assess whether we are the right fit for each other. To schedule your first appointment, call 01733 639 040 email info@www.mentalwellnesscounselling.uk. I’m here for you.